


It Better Not Splinter

by bumnorix



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: M/M, PWP, Porn, Round Table Quickie Fic, Table Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-26
Updated: 2014-01-26
Packaged: 2018-01-10 02:01:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1153439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bumnorix/pseuds/bumnorix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Over on tumblr, the wonderful deheerkonijn who doesn't know of my existence, said that she was shocked at the lack of Round Table Quickie Fics in the Merlin fandom and drew some wonderful and brilliant fanart to accompany her shock. So, I decided to fix that problem and this is the monstrosity of a result! First time writing porn, so you might as well be as cruel as possible! </p><p>http://deheerkonijn.tumblr.com/post/74298247107/ahem-now-that-i-have-your-attention-merthur-fans the original post</p><p>For you, deeheerkonijn, because your fanart is perfection and you are great!</p><p>( I also have no idea how AO3 formatting works so, sorry about the appalling presentation)<br/>(it is beta'd, but I was impatient and posted it without the beta-ing was finished, I'm sorry, I'm a bad person but thank you debbie ily)</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Better Not Splinter

 “Court dismissed,” Arthur’s voice rang out clearly in the throne room and he pushed back his chair and stood stiffly. There were a few beats of stillness and rest of the court and the knights followed the suit. Then, they all filed out. Before Leon left Arthur’s side, the king grabbed his arm and muttered in his ear, “Make sure you get those guards seen to by the end of the day, Sir Leon. I don’t want another prisoner escaping.” 

“I shall do so immediately, my Lord,” Leon said, nodding his head politely.

 Arthur let go of his arm and let him bring up the rear for the group leaving the chambers. It didn’t take long for it to be thankfully empty, save for himself and Merlin, who was standing in the corner of the chamber doing a whole lot of nothing. 

With a exasperated sigh, partly because it was still early in the morning but mostly because of Merlin for no other reason than his being Merlin, Arthur sat back down at his seat at the round table and rested his forehead in his hands. “It’s too bloody early for this,” he muttered to himself.

 “You’ve been having early morning meetings almost everyday since you were twenty, sir. I thought you’d be used to it by now.” A familiar, cheeky voice was approaching his left. Merlin had surprisingly good hearing, when he wanted it. 

 He just never seemed to want it when Arthur was trying to make him do something. 

 Hardly bothering to lift his eyes from the wood of the table, Arthur glared at Merlin and his shit-eating grin through his fingers. “I would be used to it, if _someone_ wasn’t keeping me up far past midnight every night.” 

 Merlin stopped at Arthur’s chair and unclasped his hands from behind his back to let his fingertips drop lightly on the arm rest. He tapped them. “Who? I haven’t seen anyone come into your chambers past sundown in ages!” 

 Arthur sighed again and this time all of the sigh was directed at Merlin. He sat back in his chair and looked up at the big eared boy, inconveniently backlit by the early sun which poured through the tall, chamber windows. “Oh, I don’t know,” his voice dripped with sarcasm, but it was hard not to smile broadly. “What about that incompetent manservant of mine who is always knocking things over and breaking them? You would’ve heard him at least, he’s not exactly quiet.” 

 Pretending to be affronted, Merlin clutched at his chest. “Well,” he said, “If that’s how you feel, I might as well just leave now.”

 He turned on his heel, glancing back at Arthur with a smirk, just in time for Arthur to reach out and hook his fingers around Merlin’s which were still resting on his chair’s armrest. “ _Mer_ lin,” Arthur said, in his best fondly exasperated voice. It always seemed to get Merlin to drop his insolent-manservant act. The part of it that was an act, that is. “Come here.”  

 With his own fondly exasperated roll of his eyes, Merlin turned back around and let himself get pulled closer to Arthur, who pushed back his chair so he could make space for Merlin to stand in the space between the table and his knees. It scraped gently against the polished wood floor, making a resounding noise in the thankfully empty court room. For how much longer, Arthur didn’t know. 

Merlin looked down at Arthur, who was still seated and hanging onto his fingers. “You look tired,” he said simply, sitting himself down on Arthur’s lap as if he owned it. 

 He really kind of did. 

 “Oh, well, I wonder why,” Arthur replied, shifting to get as comfortable as one could get with another human-being pressed close on your thighs and groin. 

 Merlin slung one arm over Arthur’s right shoulder and fiddled with the fine, golden hair at the nape of his neck, “Would you prefer it if I stopped

keeping you awake well past midnight? I could keep you awake during the day instead…” He had a slight pout on his face and Arthur found himself tilting his head up to press his own lips to it, while wondering what had gotten into Merlin. Normally at this hour he was just as disgruntled and sleepy as Arthur was. 

 Smiling into their kiss, Merlin pressed forward, until Arthur was right against the straight back of the chair. He moved both of his hands to cup the back of Arthur’s neck, angling it in right the way and Arthur found himself completely disagreeing with this. He was the king and he would not let his own manservant control the way they would kiss, damnit. 

 After some shifting about, Arthur managed to get a good grip on Merlin’s hips. With a heave, he lifted Merlin off his lap and half on the table. The sudden move caused them to break their kiss and Arthur tucked his nose into the join of Merlin’s neck and shoulder and bit gently at the exposed skin beneath his mouth. As a result, Merlin let out a breathy sigh, which Arthur counted as a victory. The perfect little noises made by his manservant were mentally tallied by Arthur under “Good-Things-I’ve-Done” with the subcategory of “Good-Things-I’ve-Done-To-Merlin”. 

 “Arthur-” Merlin started, showing signs of beginning to question why Arthur hadn’t just let him stay on his lap. It was obviously the better idea, why did he always have to ruin things? 

 Before he could get any further, Arthur had used his arms to hike Merlin’s legs up to latch around Arthur’s waist for far better leverage. “Take that, Merlin,” Arthur said. “Better move on my part, don’t you think?” 

 A little bit confused and a lot aroused, Merlin could only laugh. While keeping up his ministrations to Merlin’s long and very lovely neck, Arthur couldn’t hold back a grin and rubbed his thumb at the inside of Merlin’s knee to show that he had heard his wonderful, bubbly laugh. 

 “Oh, Arthur, is this really all for an ego boost?” Merlin said to the King of Camelot, who was currently pressing hot and heavy against his already completely hard cock while his back was pressed quite painfully into the wood of the table. He vaguely hoped, in the back of his mind, that it wasn’t prone to splintering with all the rutting that was definitely about to happen. It was, after all quite an old table. 

 “Hmm,” Arthur rumbled, as if he was really considering the question. He rolled his hips against Merlin’s almost leisurely, just to hear the endearing and incredibly hot stuttered breath. Then he shrugged and make a so-so kind of expression. “Yeah, alright, a little bit.”

He smirked down at Merlin, who was gazing wide-eyed, lips parted back up at him. It was a huge switch from what was happening a few moments ago, but Arthur liked this set-up so much better. “I hope it’s working,” Merlin said petulantly. He was making a noticeable effort not to sound breathless and it just made Arthur feel even better that it was so easy for him to make Merlin flustered and breathy with a few choice moves. Just top make it worse, or better, depending on who’s point of view you were looking at the situation from, he shifted his weight and took his hand away from Merlin’s head where it was to give him support and placed it in a far more important spot. Through the rough fabric of Merlin’s trousers, Arthur could feel the outline of his cock and he palmed it with his hand. 

 Merlin let out a gust of air and turned his head, exposing his neck even more. It was a nice sight. 

At the other side of the room, the ancient doors creaked and popped a little and Arthur’s head immediately snapped up. He realized that though the council room was empty, it wouldn’t be for very  long and he needed to finish what Merlin had started. Making some quick and kingly decisions, Arthur realized that it would take far too long to fuck Merlin slowly and torturously like he usually does. They would need proper lube, which he did not have on hand and there was just the slight possibility that the table would break. And that would be so very hard to explain to the other member of the court. 

 So, with as much grace as possible, Arthur guided Merlin’s legs back down so he was lying in between them and Merlin was supporting himself on his own feet. There was some more shifting and a lot more rutting. “Wha-” Once again confused, Merlin started another question but Arthur silenced him with a deep kiss. He replied to the half question with a long swipe of his tongue on Merlin’s lips, which parted happily for him. The king became conscious of long fingers curling tightly into his hair again, a habit of Merlin’s which Arthur had absolutely so problem with. To show his appreciation for Merlin tugging at his hair, Arthur, so very kindly, squeezed Merlin’ cock through his trousers but little more. 

 “Arthur,” Merlin whined, with another wonderful and hitching breath. “C’mon, do something.” 

 “But what, Merlin?” Of course, Arthur knew exactly what he was going to do, and while it wasn’t all very romantic it would do the trick. He could feel his own hardness straining against his trousers, the tension in groin and abdomen, and it took an awful lot of self-control not to grind down with abandon and not stop. But self-control was a trait Arthur liked to pride himself with and he was no carnal animal. Well, not completely, anyway. 

 Merlin arched his back, which looked quite painful by the way he was leaning against the edge of the table, and pressed them impossible closer. By now, Merlin’s cock was lined up against Arthur’s, providing a decent amount friction to make Arthur swallow thickly. “I don’t know,” Merlin said, breathily. “I thought you were supposed to be in control here. You are, afterall, the king.” And even in such a compromising position, Merlin still managed to sneak that sarcastic drawl into his voice which he seemed so adept at. And though Arthur hated to admit it, it sent a hot spark of arousal right travelling right down to his ground and he bit the inside of his cheek to stop a potentially embarrassing noise escaping. 

 Bringing his other hand up to press firmly and heavily to the inside of Merlin’s upper thigh, Arthur took a long moment just looking at Merlin’s flushed skin and kiss bruised mouth, while pretending to make serious considerations. “A king who aims to please his subjects,” was his eventual response, in a low and seductive tone. 

 Merlin blinked at him. He ran his hands over Arthur’s hips and lower back, sliding down to the swell of his arse. “Then please me, your highness.” 

 Taken completely aback by Merlin‘s sudden domination, Arthur was shocked into action and deftly untied the strings on Merlin’s trousers, pulling out his cock and giving it a few experimental tugs. Merlin made a few glorious panting noises, letting his head thump back onto the old wood.

 “Took you long enough,” he managed as Arthur dragged his thumb over the head and collecting any precome glistening at the top. “I’ve been half-hard since this morning.” 

 He lifted his hips to move his cock through the ring of Arthur’s hand, rubbing against Arthur in the process who was pressed flush against Merlin’s hipbone. “Ah,” Arthur choked out. He didn’t plan on being this vocal so early on. And he still had his trousers tied, which he probably should get on to. 

 Almost reading his mind, Merlin reached down beneath them and fumbled with the drawstrings, getting them undone surprisingly (or unsurprisingly) fast. He took both of them in hand, closing his fingers over Arthur’s at the same time and began to jerk them off, painstakingly slow. 

 “Merlin-” Arthur groaned, in frustration and pleasure. The combination worked surprisingly well together. He put his hand against the table, wrist against Merlin’s waist to support himself. “Merlin!” He said again, hardly even caring that his voice resounded off the walls of the chambers. 

 Hardly. 

 With a newly lowered voice, Arthur said roughly, “ _Please_ , for the love of all things holy, speed up.” 

 A sly smile crossed Merlin’s lips, and he squeezed them both suddenly. Arthur’s hips jerked involuntarily and he had no choice but to let out another ragged moan. He could feel it building now, a hot and tight sensation low in his abdomen.  Merlin was still going terribly slow, but Arthur could see he wanted to go faster too. The hitching in his rhythm, the almost imperceptible tremours in his legs, the irregular way his hips rocked up and against Arthur’s and his breathing, hitting Arthur’s neck and ear damp and fast. 

 Merlin’s cock pressed against his own was a dizzying sensation in itself and Arthur had to lean closer, now rocking in time with Merlin and feeling that shift of skin, burning hot and slick. He wrapped his on hands around the base of their cocks together and Merlin’s came down and they made contact. 

 “Now, Merlin,” Arthur voice was low, gusting over Merlin’s ears. He saw the way Merlin reacted, with his neck and shoulder’s tensing up. “I’m going to take over from here and we’re going to go a lot faster and you’re going to come _so_ much harder.”

 Merlin’s hand fell limply away and it went back to tugging at Arthur’s hair at the top of his head. “You better get started then,” his voice incredibly erotic for an incompetent manservant. 

 Arthur captured his mouth for another kiss, licking into his mouth again while lower down he started working their cocks faster. Sharp shocks of pleasure travelling through his body, very different from the languid waves brought on from Merlin’s slow stroking. He pulled down roughly from the tip of the heads, spreading more thick moisture and Arthur revelled to hear a high keening noise in the back of Merlin’s throat as they kissed quite wetly. He pulled back to hear it in all it’s glory and wasn’t disappointed. 

 Merlin moaned loudly, his adam’s apple bobbing. His head was tilted back and there, another loud and unabashed moan escaped from his mouth. Arthur gritted his teeth, trying not to let Merlin’s vocals get to him too much. They had been notorious for tipping him over  the edge prematurely before. 

 There was a strange moment of frozen silence, when Arthur watched Merlin’s adam’s apple dip in a large swallow and then he cried out in a cracked voice, “Arthur-!” before arching his back and pushing out his chest, rocking his hips up once before spilling over them both. It dripped over Arthur’s fist and Arthur was sure some had splattered over the table. He didn’t enough have the comprehension to think about cleaning it up afterwards, because the combined sensation of Merlin’s come slicking up against his own cock, his hand still wrapped tightly around him and Merlin truly erotic moans and gasps of air sent him tumbling right over the edge. 

 Something hot exploded beneath his skin and Arthur let his jaw drop in a soundless groan as the coiled pleasure in him was released and mingled with Merlin’s. He managed a few more weak tugs before he sagged against Merlin and their damp, heavy breathing mixed in the air. 

 There were footsteps outside the door across the room and a loud rapping on the wood. 

 “My lord?” Leon’s voice broke through the post-orgasmic haze. “I have a question about the prison cell guards.” 

 Arthur’s head snapped up and beneath him Merlin scrambled to clean them up while hitching up his trousers at the same time. He rolled out from beneath Arthur, hastily wiping up the mess but the latch at the door was already clicking and being pushed open. 

 “Ah, shit.” Merlin hissed between clenched teeth and promptly got on his knees and hid under the table. 

 Arthur pulled down his shirt which was thankfully loose and covered up his cock, which was still hanging out of his trousers. He pulled in the chair and sat down on it, positioning himself so that he was propping up his head with his hand and conveniently moved his elbow to wipe up and cover the drops of come which was in fact on the table. “Sir Leon,” he said in his best kingly voice, which was a considerable feat after having sex against the table he was leaning on. “What is the matter?”

 Leon bowed his head and stepped into the chamber. “Would you like me to replace them, sire? With other guards we have stationed in the lower city? Or request some new guards altogether?”

 “Uhmm?” Arthur’s voice was uncomfortably high and he cleared his throat. “Get some new ones, I think. That’s a good idea. Yes?”

 “Indeed, sire, and-”

 “Leon, I think, we should leave this conversation for another time. I am… Inconvenienced at the current time.”

 “My lord, are you alright?” Leon took another step into the chamber and Arthur waved his hand frantically.

 “Yes! Quite! I’m uh, thinking. About... Poetry and I would like some time alone. If that’s alright with you.”

 Leon stared at him for a long and uncomfortable moment but nodded politely while walking backwards out of the chamber. “Of course, my lord. My apologies.”

 Arthur waited for a few minutes of silence after Leon left and pushed back his chair to look at Merlin who was laughing silently. “Thinking about poetry?” He wheezed. “What are you, a blonde-haired maiden?”

 “Well, the blonde part is right,” Arthur grumbled, standing up. He tucked himself back into his trousers and laced them back up. As he wiped down his shirt, he said, “That was completely your fault Merlin. If you hadn’t of decided to proposition me in the _bloody_ courtroom, we wouldn’t be here.” 

 “Hey!” Merlin scrambled to his feet, adjusting his clothes. “You agreed to it! And besides, you don’t have it half as bad as me! I think I’ve got splinters in my arse!”

 “How is that possible?” Arthur asked, turned and beginning to walk out of the court room. “Your dainty bottom was never even exposed.” 

He bit down a grin, however.

 “Well, they were bloody big splinters, obviously!” Merlin cried indignantly, trotting after Arthur. 

 When Arthur could no longer hold it down, he barked a loud laugh as he strolled down the hallway with Merlin in tow. The mental image of Merlin peering into Gaius’ chambers and asking about how to get splinter’s out of one’s arse was truly a golden moment. 


End file.
